Si seulement......

time
plays with your mind
mirrors
reflect what was, not is
and
the years gather so quickly

if only
if only a litany sung in the night
the
past etched deep upon your face
pale
parchment skin, clings tight to hollow bones

a
map you choose not to follow
while
stumbling, groping moon-blind
as
you feel your way through darkness

murky
images dance in a dusty mind
still
still...covered in stark white drapes
while
if only, if only echoes with each step

words
have no meaning, no beginning no end
all
lost long ago in ancient dreams
and
yet dream you must, see you must to walk your path

old
and not, alive but dead the burden is heavy
with
bent back, limbs tremble the litany grows
louder
with season after season, quilt deepens

speechless,in wake of pursuing shadowy forms
the
crucify leads not the way
if only,if only I had not taken what
was
not mine to take...to late too late

if only
if only, I could but have seen your face
and
once...just once held you in my empty arms
to
cast aside my selfishness, my hidden shame

each
day continues in sorrow, pain
no respite, no peace even in sleep
sleep
were you come to my dreams...lightly
floating

floating
ghostly just beyond my souls grasp
know
that my heart bleeds rivers of tears
for
not a moment nor hour,or day passes

without
my very being turning to you
the
sin I carry, loss regret my only companions
I
shall remain blemished until...you call my name