Deserted
painted shades melted rock
ancient days of bitten sun
deserted paths of gold
and
I spend each hour alone
counting moments from the past
deserted by time
6 hours ago
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
painted shades melted rock
ancient days of bitten sun
deserted paths of gold
and
I spend each hour alone
counting moments from the past
deserted by time
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EveryWomansVoice.com
10 comments:
isn't haiku a blessing sometimes?? so simple,, yet capable of so much depth.....
i am wondering if the second line in the second haiku is phrased correctly... it could just be me,, feel free to edit or delete this from the comment.. i just thought i would ask....
I really like the second one in particular. The inconsistent nature of time just fascinates me.
Time can invalidate a moment. Definitely a force!
Gemma
The last stanza really touches the soul. Very well done!
My favourite is the last one.
Poignant.
They are both very different, but equally as powerful. I connect with the second one, but dream like the first.. Love them both.
I love the fierce description in the first haiku. Makes me sweat to read it.
The second haiku is wonderful, very vivid; the singular of the "alone" & "hour" creating a perfect counterbalance of images with the "counting" and the "deserted".. First one, then many, then nothing...
The second especially brings an ache to my heart. It is a reminder of age, what I saw in those gone now and what I may see myself.
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